What I’ve been up to

So, I’m big into music… like who isn’t? But I’m really into music.
One of my favorite bands of all time is Smashing Pumpkins.
While they’re my favorite band in recent years I haven’t listened to them a lot.
I have however, been on a bit of a kick lately.
One of their best songs is

This is a really good live version…

So, I’m sitting here listening to it and I’m like what the hell is he talking about?
So right now I’m going to break it down for you and me right here right now.

OK so first we have the title – X.Y.U
-Some people would say this is like Ex, why you? I however think it’s a reference to XY Chromosomes..

OK so my take on the song is it’s written from a lot of different perspectives.
Here’s the first verse:
She didn’t wanna be / She didn’t wanna know
She couldn’t run away cuz she was crazy
She gave it all away / She saw her baby break
And in the air it hung that she was dull razors

-Alright this is a summation of the whole experience basically he’s saying he was with a woman and she got pregnant not something either had planned. In the end the decision to abort the baby was one that SHE made.

And I said I wanna fill you up / I wanna break you / I want to give you up
From one another, another one should come to one another
No one should come between us

-Here’s where I’m a little confused because it seems as though he might be on the fence.
I wanna fill you up? You do the math there. But those three statements could be made to reference different stages… He wants to fill her .. you know IMPREGNATE her, then the breaking which could be a reference to her having the baby and then finally after she’s done the deed and get “rid” of it he wants to give her up? Not sure entirely there. From one another, another one should come (a child) No one should come between us. That could be him saying like… at the end this whole ordeal is what split them up.

Verse 2:
Still I was lonely / and she was by my side / my one and only
Knows that she can never hide
I couldn’t feel her / and it was just a game /cuz I was lonely and she was crazy

-First two lines are just them riding it out or trying to. Third line is how he loses love for her and now he’s just going through the motions

This part whatever it’s called:
Rat-tat-tat, ka boo boom, now take that, and just a bit of this
Cause I’m a watcher, and I’m a doer of none
Come to save you, ’cause you’re all mine

-Alright, Onomatopeia? OK, he’s pissed right he’s getting back at her
Because he was a watcher and a doer of none (he didn’t stop her)
He plays the role of rescuer and persecuter in the third line? Not sure there

Bridgish? Part
I hurt where I can’t feel, I feel where I can’t hurt
I know where I can’t know, I bleed for me and mine

-This is her perspective.. or possibly how he feels she feels.
It’s weighing on her, the decision that she’s made. The I bleed for me and mine is a direct indication of that.

Another weird piece:

Ka-boom, a rat-tat-tat, and some good ole bliss
Cause I’m a sister, and I’m a motherf$%k

-His point of view RAGE RAGE RAGE and then sex
Cause I’m a sister ?(P$%#Y?) and I’m a mother____… that’s an obvious one.

This Part:

I am made of shamrocks, I am made of stern stuff
I am never enough, I am the forgotten child

-Obviously this is the child which seems a little out there but it’s angstymcangstpants billy corgan we’re talking about


And I said I wanna fill you up, I wanna break you, I wanna give you up
From one another, no one should ever come
In between us, between us and our love

-Been here talked about this

Verse 3:

Mary had a little lamb, her face was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went I was sure to go
Now Mary’s got a problem, and Mary’s not a stupid girl
Mary’s got some deep shit, and Mary does not forget

-This girl “had” a baby… she’s seeing it in her mind and he was always there a constant reminder of this thing that happened. Mary’s does not forget… obvious

Line 673094769034860560348:

And this is how Mary’s garden grows, and this is how Mary has her ghosts

-This is where the song changes… just like their relationship.
He’s there and he just reminds her of how awful she feels… this is how mary has her ghosts. She is clearly haunted

The next line:
And into the eyes of the Jackyl I say ka-boom

-Clearly this is the most intense and climactic line of the song so it’s got to be important.
Earlier he says that mary has a little lamb… a baby or what could have been
The line referencing the jackyl is from his point of view. The jackyl first is a symbol in Egyptian Mythology that helps guide souls over. But moreover he’s referencing her as “the jackyl” the thief.. the one that stole the baby away.. I SAY KABOOOM! Obviously, there’s no white picket fence in these two’s future.

Last Verse:

Now we begin descent, to where we’ve never been
There is no going back, this wasn’t meant to last
This is a hell on earth, we are meant to serve
And she will never learn
Bye bye, baby goodbye

-They reaching lows here… what’s done is done and there is no recovering from this.
But the line there is no going back this wasn’t meant to last – is him saying it’s over
The line this is a hell on earth We are meant to serve is her basically wanting to continue the relationship to relive her grief and punish herself
He is saying She will never learn
He is also saying Bye bye baby goodbye.. to her and to the baby.

There you have it. I’m probably wrong.

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