If you know anything about me you know that I have three children.
A 7 year old, a 5 year old and an almost two year old.
I watch a lot of parents giving their children things…. but never asking for anything in return.
And I’m not saying that is wrong, but usually when they explain why it sounds something like, “I’m their parent.” or, “I want them to have what I didn’t”.
I respectfully disagree and here is my reasoning.
Life isn’t about take.
The world doesn’t hand things out at a whim and for no good reason.
Everything that’s worth anything –
It can be really hard to… trying to find this balance between the part of you that wants to be a fun parent and the part of you that wants to instill a really good structure…
I’m really big on structure because while I had stability – structure is something that I always lacked growing up….
it lent to me being a little bit of a round peg in a square hole… which is kinda good but as an adult I suffered a long time trying to figure out how to go about even the simplest of tasks.
So, to help my children avoid this in their lives we’ve devised the chore chart and I really hope it can help you too.
It’s super rudimentary but this is basically what we draw up for each of the girls to follow.
My 7 year old daughters looks like this:
So if you take a look there’s a row for each day of the week.
We have set chores that are everyday.
They’re pretty simple
clothes in the hamper
clean sink (after brushing teeth)
clear spot at table
and for Penelope get the mail
It gets interesting because then we start alternating
There’s a chore every other day we consider a *special* chore
and on the off days it’s bath night
This is Isabelle’s chore chart. These were all chosen from a chart of age appropriate chores that I had found on Pinterest
So, how does it work?
- Well it requires involvement… honestly about as much as if I’d done them myself.
- At the end of the day we go through and check off all the regular chores that they’ve done.
- If they haven’t done a chore they get a number 1-5 and on the fifth regular chore they miss they get a privilege revoked for the rest of the week. (As you can see on Belle’s she is at a 4 in the first week.)
- If you look at the second week however, you’ll see there is a -1. That is because she chose to do something helpful and we’ve decided if she has demerits she can negate one of them with that.
- The special chores are treated differently mostly because they require skill. If they do them they get an X. The level of quality is what decided whether they get an allowance for it or not. (If you look at the specials they have boxes around the x’s – this means she did the chore but not well enough to warrant the allowance.)
- We go through the whole week and on Sunday we do the allowance
- Each regular chore that is done all week gets a dime
- Each special chore that is done without a box gets a quarter
- There is a special chore bonus … if you do them all even if you get a box you get an extra quarter
Basically, they bitch about it a lot! But I continue because I believe in it, and I really think it works.
What does your family do? Do you have a chore system? Are you more relaxed?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!