Yeah… that pretty much sums up how I feel today.
Let me tell you guys this story.
I mean you all already know firstly that I am married. Secondly, that I am doing my ceremony this September.
So, we bought the house and had the baby all in this year too and it’s kind of left us tired, ragged, and pretty unprepared to plan a wedding.
Not that you ever are since it’s usually the first and hopefully only one you’ll plan for yourself.
So we are knees deep in wedding details.
And I go to obtain my dress, I won’t use the name but the place is a chain store that sells wedding dresses… you can do the math there.
I do the whole thing where I try on the dress. I have a “stylist” who comes into the room with me and knows me…. INTIMATELY (I have four kids though so this to me is not any more than a routine dr. appointment)
During this fitting I am given a slip and a bra to use with the dresses. Never am I told these are “recommended” I’m given them without a choice.
The whole thing is fast and it’s like a dream. I find the perfect dress and we ring a bell and I make a wish. Before I know it I am being whisked off to the register where my fantastic deal of a dress (499) with all these other items has now become 800!
So that was kind of annoying but you know, whatever right?
I’m only getting married once.
Obviously, they immediately schedule me for alterations, Since I just dropped $800 and I’ve never gotten married before I don’t question this. I just figure it comes with the dress.
So, I go to my alterations appointment and quickly realize that this is something that I have to pay for in addition to all the other “dress related” costs. They look at me like I’m daft.
And just so we are clear they never once mentioned money, price, or cost prior
I felt deflated. Like I was being taken advantage of. I felt like the fact that most people don’t get married leads them into predatory situations where they are tricked out of their money over and over again and I’m sorry but it just shouldn’t be like that.
Companies so willing to take your money. The most special day of your life turned into an exploitative effort. We are still paying people money. And I look at it and think why did I even bother? I really love this man, I didn’t need all this to prove it.
Weddings really are for everyone else. Half of this wedding isn’t how I would do it at all. I was never the little girl that imagined this magical day with harps and angels and stuff. It’s just very “unlike” me. All I knew is that I love this man – and I want to partake in a wedding celebration like the rest of the world.
I wasn’t born rich so my parents aren’t really able to help at all. So, that luxury most women are afforded (along with a lot of others) hasn’t been afforded to me. I still somehow convinced myself that I would be able to do this wedding on the cheap. I WAS SO WRONG.
And here I am. We are a little over a month away from the event and I’m still stressed out and I find that frustrating. There isn’t joy in it and there should be. We’ve made it acceptable to have a great day turned into a spectacle and debt trap. And I find myself wishing for it to be over.
I’m sure the day will come and it will be great. I will look great and it will be fun. And until that day I won’t be able to tell you whether or not it was worth it. I can say this though, the road here is long and hard. Full of opinions and options and headaches and mini disasters.